Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?

I see through liars

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What is a real life example of the Streisand Effect?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do narcissists and especially covert narcissists always play the victim?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Is it ok to be spanked by your parents if you are not in bed in your set bedtime?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What do you love to do at night when you’re alone?

I can count

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What can I do when I'm ugly on both outside and inside? What do I do? Cut myself off from the world to make everyones lives better? I'm a monster. I hurt feelings, and I say what was said to me. I feel like I'm nothing but a burden. What do I do?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are some mind-blowing facts about Michael Jackson?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy bullshit

Why, after a divorce, would one still want to ruin the other one’s life?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What are some of the best photos of your favorite Korean model?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Is anal sex allowed in Islam? It's not written anywhere in the Quran whether it's forbidden or not.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Is using tech to track or monitor your partner’s activities a sign of love, insecurity, or control?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP